The never-emptying inbox

You ever see those cartoons? The ones where the guy's at his desk and his outbox is empty and the inbox is overflowing? That's kind of how I feel right now.

Christmas is, well, three days away. It isn't that I don't know when Christmas is. It's not like it changes days on you. It's the same frickin' day every year. It doesn't sneak up on me.

Right now, I've got a million projects going on. Our show has really started to take off and that brings a whole new set of things to do for it. I was co-hosting another show on Fridays, and I got the chance to spin off to another show on a different network. I'm writing for the SportFellas and I'm going to be doing their radio show. I'm also taking on a few outside design projects because in the event that I decide to peace out, I have to refresh those skills. And they're fun.

Oh, wait. I committed to a triathlon in July in Chicago. The Danskin. We were going do to April in Orlando but opted to go to Chicago instead. I'm down with that. I've never been there.

Let's throw the Erie half-marathon on top of that. I think it's the weekend after.

You want more?

Harrisburg-Hershey half-marathon ... second weekend of November. I realize that's a hell of a long way down the road, but it's not like something you capriciously prepare for. You don't wake up that Saturday morning and say, "eh, I got nothing better to do, so I think I'll hit 13 miles today."

So between work, traveling, writing, radio, training ... sleep's a luxury. I tried going to bed really early last night but my mind was racing.

I neglected to send out Christmas cards and it's more because my life has been in such a state of transition during the last few months I didn't even think to ask for the Excel spreadsheet of addresses so I could send them. There's no tree. I didn't decorate. I just don't feel much like Christmas this year, and understandably.

In a few days, I'll be at home, on my parents' couch, watching their TV and relaxing. I'll take a minute or three to breathe and catch up, and then hit it again. Time's not slowing down for me, it seems. It's getting faster and faster.

... and I'm gonna be freakin' 29. Gah.

And it's time for me to call into my second network for the Christmas radio show. Then, I swear some down time with the TV.

The bane of my existence, still in its box

Lemme tell you a story about my living room furniture.

The first full day I was in my new place, the furniture store delivered a whole bunch of stuff. What I didn't buy at the furniture store was an entertainment center, coffee table or end table because I figured I could get them on the cheap somewhere.

I found what I wanted, but the store where I was looking only had two of the three pieces -- they didn't have the coffee table. I wasn't 100 percent sold on a coffee table anyway, but my Mom was really all about it. She said that it would tie the room together. I didn't want to buy two of the pieces from one store and run the risk that the other store locations wouldn't have the coffee table.

Finally, after two days of calling around, we found that the store in Huntington had them. So, Mom and I piled in the Explorer and went an hour west to get all three pieces.

That Sunday night, the entertainment center (which now supports my totally excellent Man TV) and the end table were put together.

The coffee table?

Not so much. It's still in its box. Still resting against the wall.

My parents will be here Saturday. My sister and I are going to have to put this thing together tomorrow night or I know my Mom's going to want to do it Saturday. And she'll be somewhat disappointed that the coffee table I made her drive an hour for isn't being used.

I'm like Josh in the movie, "Haiku Tunnel." Josh is a temp who finally lands himself in a permanent job. All Josh has to do is transcribe and mail 17 "very important" letters from his boss, Bob. Josh quickly transcribes them and puts them in the envelopes, gets them stamped and ... just ... can't ... get ... it ... in the mail.

Josh finds every reason in the world to NOT put these letters in the mail. There's even a scene in the movie where he says, "I went ahead and did the expense reports now in case I wanted something easier to do later."

That's me with this coffee table. I've cleaned. I've done laundry. I've put together book cases. I've folded clothes. I've organized clothes. I've done everything BUT put this coffee table together.

And now it's crunch time.

So, my sister is going to get bribed with dinner, and then she's going to help me put this thing together. Unless I can find some movie I want to see, or some DVDs to rent or some other task that will prevent it from happening.

Unless I decide to alphabetize my socks. I've always wondered how I could do that.