Thursday, October 18, 2007

Listen up, white blood cells ...

I can sort of feel sick coming on.

You know that general "I feel like crap" and you feel just kind of run down and achy?

Yeah.

I have it.

I don't know if I have a fever because I can't find my thermometer. It may still be boxed up from the move.

All I know is this better go away before tomorrow because I've got WVU's Homecoming to take by storm and some Mountaineer Rally to make for the masses.

I'm going to be optimistic and say that it's just the stress of the last four weeks coming down. It was about four weeks ago that my world sort of upended. And I'm doing OK, I really am. I'm doing great, even. I'm just tired. Even if you're sleeping, stress can wreak havoc on you. It's been a very stressful four weeks.

I need a vacation. A real one this time. That's likely going to come in November if I can make it to Sandy Eggo. :) (Or Sahn Dieahgo, for my fellow Ron Burgundy fans.)

But in happier news, Philip is coming over tonight to watch my Man TV. Maybe a little Rutgers upset? He's bringing pizza, which means despite my desire to curl up under this blanket for another hour or so, I need to go to Pilates class and do pre-emptive damage control.

Go white blood cells! I am NOT going to be sick for Homecoming.

Your new favorite TV show

Tonight.

FX.

10 p.m.

You'll want to clear your schedule this week, and every week from now on, to watch both episodes of this show.

I didn't know this show in its first two seasons. I had heard of it, but never watched it, until one of my friends said, "You're not living until you start watching this show."

So he had me download an episode from iTunes just to see if I'd be into it. I downloaded "Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare."

And my life changed. Which sounds like pure hyperbole, but trust me. Television became different at that point. I downloaded all of seasons one and two and I watch them at work all the time. I need to go out and buy the DVDs for home.

If you've not watched, give it a try tonight. This show is darkly funny. Hilariously wrong. There's nothing to NOT love about this show. And it's got Danny DeVito, which to me makes everything better immediately anyway.

Finally, people who see it my way

HELL YEAH!

Swearing at work 'boosts team spirit, morale'

I mean, other than dropping the F-bomb in front of your CEO, of course. That's probably bad form. I wouldn't advise that. That may slow you down.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Reader mail (and Wednesday random)

I'm on the phone with Jeff right now, in an IM with Ben and listening to "Delilah" on the radio, which I leave on for Inky during the day so she's got some background noise. (Yeah, that's lame. Mock me if you want.) The song on now is "Night Shift" by Lionel Richie.

Verrrrrp.

Oh, but there's been redemption, because now we've got "Sara Smile" by Holland Oates.

You'll get that joke if you're a fan of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

* * * * *
But on with the reader mail!

My sister, Ashlea, sent me this story, courtesy of our friends at FOXnews.com:

Woman Overheard Yelling Obscenities at Toilet Could Face Jail Time
Tuesday , October 16, 2007

SCRANTON, Pa. — A woman who allegedly shouted profanities at her overflowing toilet within earshot of a neighbor was cited for disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Dawn Herb could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300.

"It doesn't make any sense. I was in my house. It's not like I was outside or drunk," Herb told The Times-Tribune of Scranton. "The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop."

Herb does not recall exactly what she said, but she admitted letting more than a few bad words fly near an open bathroom window Thursday night.

Her next-door neighbor, a city police officer who was off-duty at the time, asked her to keep it down, police said. When she continued, the officer called police.

Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union in Philadelphia, took issue with the citation.

"You can't prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet," she said.


Why is this story awesome? Where do I even start?

1. Who HASN'T yelled at an inanimate object like that? I must swear at objects a dozen or more times a day.

2. What are YOU going to do the next time your toilet overflows? Bet me money that you swear.

3. Douchebag off-duty cops.

4. ... Um, hello? The best part ... SCRANTON!

5. Ash, thanks for getting this week's Roundup segment ready for the show Sunday!

* * * * *
I'm starting to think Inky is possessed. Or at the least a little neurotic, which isn't bad given the girl who adopted her.

She's spent the last 30 minutes chasing both my gym bag (which hasn't moved) or her foot. She hisses at HER FOOT. I'm confused by this. That foot's never done you wrong, Ink.

* * * * *
Speaking of the gym, though, I'm still training for the triathlon in April. The last few weeks haven't been good on my gym schedule.

Truth be told, in the days following my separation, I didn't do much but lay around on the couch and watch TV. Then I traveled a little and came back to Charleston and I was living with a friend, so I didn't do a whole lot. It took me a week to get really settled into my new place and this is actually the first week I've been back into a routine of any sort.

That three weeks off was hell on my running endurance. You wouldn't think that three weeks off could affect your time like that, but it did for me. I just have to get back into it and get dedicated to it again. It'll be easier now, and I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Next after the Disney Danskin Tri is the Erie Half-Marathon, so you all should get your posterboard signs ready for that one. Oh, and your gambling money. Because after I run, we're totally tagging Presque Isle like it's our job.

* * * * *
I think it's bed time. I've got a few books that I got at Kanawha County Library's annual used book sale that I'm eager to rip into. I decided to not put a TV in my bedroom so I have a quiet place. The TV is too great a temptation when you're trying to sleep ... I'd rather pass out with a good book.

I also bought a composition book to write down my dreams ... if I could just remember them. So far, no luck.

*Updated* Pimping ain't easy (but for them, anything!)

Please check out my friend Philip's column in today's Charleston Daily Mail:

My Turn: This wedding couple is brought to you by ...

It's a hilarious column about getting corporate sponsors for his wedding and a suggestion I'd made to him a while back about having the Friends of Coal sponsor the whole event.

Oh, and if you're not already a reader, make sure to put Mike Casazza's blog (on WVU and various other topics) on your favorites.

Speaking of Mike, he also had a great first-person piece in the Daily Mail today about the adventure before his wedding to Erinn, one of my oldest and dearest friends. I wasn't able to go to their wedding because I was in Kentucky at a funeral, but from all accounts and pictures, it was a beautiful day and Erinn couldn't have been a more beautiful bride.

But their wedding day is a classic case of, "Everything was going along really well until ..."

Here's their story, complete with a slideshow of pics:

The trolley blew its lid, but not the wedding

The pic of her dad (I'll let you discover it on your own) is absolutely priceless.

The "I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'" of the year

From today's Charleston Daily Mail:

State education official says his "redneck" remarks were taken out of context

by Justin D. Anderson
Capitol Reporter

A top state education official acknowledged that he used the phrase "four-wheel riding, dope-smoking, alcoholic rednecks" to describe a lifestyle that impedes student progress.

But Kenna Seal, who heads up the state Office of Education Performance Audits, said he was not talking about Lincoln County.

"I used those words, but I didn't call the people in Lincoln County that," Seal said. "I used those words to describe a lifestyle that I have noticed in places across the country and even in West Virginia."

Members of the Lincoln school board contend that Seal was harshly criticizing the county and have asked him to apologize.

Here's the thing -- he's not altogether wrong. And what they taught me at that fancy journalism school is that the best defense against libel is the truth.

He certainly doesn't get any style points on this one, and to be honest, it's not just Lincoln County. He should spend some quality time in Logan, Mingo, McDowell ... Wirt, Ritchie, Doddridge ... I mean, it's pretty much the whole state.

That's sure to piss off most West Virginians, but you know what? Prove him wrong. Because from where I sit, I can't see that he's saying anything that's patently false.

No new fashion venture goes unpunished

"What? You got on your Canadian tuxedo today?"
-- Amber, commenting on my new denim jacket that I got from Julie

In my defense, the denim jacket is paired with a black tanktop, a black straight-line skirt and my knee-high black boots.

Update: Stirewalt just comes in.

"Girl! Look at you in your denim jacket today! You're looking like a million bucks! Doesn't she look like a million bucks?"

Amber: "Yeah, but doesn't she look a little bit Canadian?"

Stirewalt: "Yeah, a little. But more like Wisconsin. Half-Canadian."

For those of you playing along at home, but are still unsure what a Canadian tuxedo is, here's a visual:


And according to a July 2006 article in Bacon magazine, here's how it can be described:

The Canadian Tuxedo
The Canadian Tuxedo is the favoured outfit for young men and women on important occasions. Nothing says “I’m looking my best for you” like The Canadian Tuxedo. Wear it to your prom, for an important job interview, or at a relative’s funeral. The Canadian Tuxedo is traditionally comprised of a pair of blue jeans, a blue jean shirt, and a blue jean jacket.

Screw you guys, I'm wearing a black sweater from here out.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Lessons in Humility (Vol. 1)

Wednesday's trash day in my new neighborhood, so rather than get up 15 minutes earlier, I just get the trash together on Tuesday night. Tonight, I just finished cleaning out Inky's litter box when I put it on the ledge of the sink, turned my back and ...

Heard a thud.

The entire contents of the clean litter box were on the floor. I'm talking like two pounds of unused Tidy Cat For Small Spaces on the tile floor.

At this point, all I could do is stare. After a good 15 seconds, I started cleanup. I scooped most of it up with the dustpan, but then I broke out the DustBuster to get the rest. (Pilgrim voyage of the DustBuster!!)

I learned three things:

1. Just leave the f-ing cat box on the floor. Don't pick it up because you think sitting it on the edge of the sink will be more efficient.

2. The DustBuster is probably not intended to pick up all of that clay ... or whatever it is they make litter with.

3. When faced with laugh or cry, laugh. Because I know it may be hard to picture, but two pounds or so of cat litter scattered EVERYWHERE on your kitchen floor, after all, is very funny.

I've been accused of this ...


... In some cases, this is true. I'm just sayin'. There are proven cases in which this is absolutely, 100 percent the truth. I can provide concrete examples.

BlackBerry blogging

... I may never work again.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I'm in love!!


I think it's forever, too.

That's an image courtesy of our pals at Google of my new TV.

High def, baby. I'll be able to see the look of worry on Peyton Manning's face on Sundays. I'll be able to count the individual threads on the astroturf. Even better is that I'll be able to watch my team -- the Pittsburgh Steelers -- the way God intended.

In crystal clear, high-definition glory.

And I'm sure that most of the TV I watch, which comes from the Food Network, will look rather appetizing in 40-inch, high-definition. I thought that Paula Deen's calorie-laden baked goods looked good on my crappy Magnavox?! Not. Even. Close.

If only deadline wasn't calling ... I'd be psyched to lay on my couch for hours at a time. This TV could not possibly help with triathlon training in any way. But it'll be great for movie night.

Because I said I would.

I told my friend Dean (one of the dudes behind SportFellas.com) that I would write about not only him, but how awesome he is.

So, here you go, Dean.

You should check out their site. Dean (along with Dan ... and now they may be picking up a third SportFella!) has some of the wittiest, best, most researched sports commentary on the Web. On my show this week, Dean told us that their college football rankings will factor into the actual BCS standings.

Get some, SportFellas! :)

(Alright, Landers ... I gotta get back to work. The AutoTrader doesn't publish itself.)

A clean, fresh start

I'm jumping back into this because I need an outlet. My show is great for an outlet, but I'm a writer. It's what I do. I write.

I've gone through some pretty serious life changes lately, and I don't think it's a good idea to spill them out here. If you're one of my closer friends, you know what's going on. It's a really strange, and interesting, time in my life. I'm learning a lot about me and all of the stuff that goes with it. I'm learning how to get over hangups of the past and work toward what I want to be in the future, regardless of how that affects the situation in which I'm living.

But the last three weeks of transition haven't been a picnic. I'm lucky that people have stepped in and really come through for me.

I deleted all of the old posts on this blog because, well, I just thought when I picked this back up to start it again I wanted it to be clean. A blank canvas. Something to start from scratch and develop.

But the developing must come a little later ... it's deadline, I've got a hundred things to read and Foo Fighters on iTunes, so I should be unstoppable. :)