Follow up file: I'd f-ing kill him.

In today's edition of the best newspaper ever -- the New York Post -- they ran a follow up article to yesterday's Amy Fisher news.

In this latest article, Lou ... Remember Lou?
You know.

Lou.

And you shouldn't trust Lou because:

1. His name is Lou.

2. Hair!

3. Sunglasses.

Anyway ...

Lou says he regrets hawking their bedroom vids in anger. He was just mad that Amy was seeing Joey again (which, OK, I'm FOR you on that, Lou, I really am!) so he acted out in anger and decided that the only thing that would make him feel better during a divorce from a notorious woman would be cash and fringe fame.

Here's where I get real pissed ...

It's bad enough he sold it to a distributor. It's even worse that they got back together shortly thereafter and he didn't tell her about it UNTIL A MONTH OR SO AGO.

"I did it out of the heat of anger and passion," Bellera told The Post.

"We were estranged. She was seeing Joey. I was seething about the whole thing. It just came to a point where I was hurt and embarrassed by it . . . and it pressed the wrong button. I just used that as a vehicle to strike back at her."

You know what I'd use as my vehicle to strike back at you, Lou? A Sherman tank. With a big, giant, sharp, pointy knife on the end.

Fisher said she was willing to forgive her husband.

"We've been together for so many years and have had so many ups and downs," she said. ". . . I don't want to see it. It's better for me if I just don't think about it. I'm just going to hide in my house."

Amy, you're a better woman than I am. That man would be bleeding in the front yard in a few hundred pieces if I would have been on the receiving end of that. But, I'm hoping you take away a few lessons from this.

1. Videotape nothing ever, ever again. Lou hoses you once, Lou will hose you again.

2. Never underestimate guilt as a weapon.

3. You are totally in the clear to be as bad as you want for pretty much the rest of your life. If you're called out on it, you clearly have the response of, "Yeah, well, at least I didn't sell our sex tape."

Siiiiigh.

OK, Jesus. You win.

My co-workers were going out for lunch, so I asked them to bring me back some wings, celery and ranch. One of them suggested I get the wings plain, and the sauce on the side so they don't get soggy.

When they got here, my wings were here. My celery was here. My ranch was here.

There was no wing sauce in a separate container. Nothing.

Plain wings. No sauce.

Siiiigh.

Jesus is boldfaced. Period. End of story.

I couldn't work anywhere else

My paper does this thing (that I don't love) that involves bolding proper names. People, businesses, etc. It's supposed to be done to enhance readability and because people who love themselves love not only seeing their names, but seeing their names in bold print.

This, however, has led to a continual debate over what gets bolded and what doesn't. Beth did a great job trying to come up with a styleguide for it, but questions still pop up.

Today:

"Do we bold Jesus?"

I came back into the room in the middle of the discussion, so they decided to ask me.

"Jacque!! Do we bold Jesus?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"You won't bold Punxsutawney Phil, you're not bolding Jesus."

At which point Stirewalt jumps in and says, "But Jesus was a real person. He walked the earth. That can't be disputed."

Nobody seemed to buy into my belief that Punxsutawney Phil is real.

I eventually had to rule that in light of supporting evidence, Jesus is boldfaced.

I'm hopeful this prevents me from getting hit and killed by a piece of falling blue ice from a plane landing at Yeager today.

Also, today at work I learned that caffeine can mess up your prostate.

(Note to self: Be thankful you don't have a prostate!)

The results are in: We're children of the '80s

In last week's blog poll, I asked:

If you could live in any time period, what would it be?

Here's how you voted:

Like, omigod, the '80s. — 58 percent (7 votes)
I'd kick it in the '90s. — 33 percent (4 votes)
Peace, man. I'm a '60s kid. — (GOOSE EGG!!)
Break out the disco! It's 'the 70s. — 8 percent (1 vote)

It almost makes me want to get my leg warmers out! That and the fact that it's 10 degrees in my office. God!!!