I always miss the good stuff

I'm forced to ask ...

Why do I NEVER see anything like this?

From my hometown paper, The Intelligencer of Wheeling, W.Va.:

Monkey Truck Barrel Rolls

ST. CLAIRSVILLE — Fifty-three monkeys and two people were involved in a two-vehicle accident Thursday on Interstate 70.

Virginia resident Kyle MacDougall, 24, was cited for not assuring a clear distance ahead after his vehicle struck a van while traveling east on I-70 near exit 213. The accident occurred about 6 p.m.

MacDougall was not injured, and the driver of the van was transported to Wheeling Hospital to be checked out, officials said. The monkeys were believed to be uninjured.

The pickup truck and trailer MacDougall was driving jackknifed, causing him to lose control, travel off the interstate and end up in a grassy area along the exit 213 off ramp. The trailer remained upright, but the pickup overturned.

The trailer MacDougall was towing with his pickup truck contained 53 monkeys, mainly African Green and Rhesus monkeys, said Penny Miller, director of the Oglebay Good Zoo.

Miller initially was called to the scene to help transport the monkeys to her zoo temporarily. However, the owner of the monkeys, whose name was not available at press time, decided to retrieve the animals himself. The owner had a three-hour trip, as he was in Pennsylvania, possibly in the city of Hazelton, said Ohio State Highway Patrol Sgt. Jim Tracy.

Trooper Jeff Herink said the vehicle and trailer were listed as owned by Unique Carriers, based in Florida.

Miller noted the type of monkeys being transported typically are used for research, including by pharmaceutical companies. Troopers at the scene would not confirm whether the animals were heading for such a facility, but other officials at the scene said they believed the monkeys were being taken to a lab in Maryland.

“Right now we’re waiting for the owner to come with a trailer, load up the monkeys and move on,” said Trooper Dennis Wilcox.

While waiting for help to arrive, MacDougall periodically checked on the monkeys, which were in crates made of wood and metal. He entered the rear door of the trailer, but first placed a mask over his mouth and nose. Tracy said there was no danger of the monkeys passing any illness to humans, saying that the mask was being worn as a precaution.

“There are no health concerns whatsoever,” Tracy said.

A heater was placed inside the damaged trailer to keep the animals warm.

I'm only on that interstate at least ONCE a month and all I see are Ohio State Troopers and people driving too slow in the left lane. I never see overturned monkey trucks! Ever! AUGH!